Back in 1972 at the age of eighteen, I worked in Scotch House in Regents Street in the heart of London's West End. I started as a lad in the basement warehouse but the management noted my gregarious outlook and my forthright Scottishness and rightly assumed that I would do well on the sales floor.

I began selling tartan material - also known as plaid - to tourists, mostly North American and Japanese. The latter purchased purely on the basis of quality and style. The former, however, made me work for my wages.

They wanted to know what clan they belonged to, what part of Scotland the name came from and which tartan they are entitled to wear. Once that was decided they then wanted to know if they should wear dress, hunting or mute or whatever.We had a book which listed thousands of names and a short demographic detail consisting of early groupings, nearest clan chieftain and name origin - if known.

The problem with this is that it was very broad-brush and not all cases were clear cut. The secret was to over-clarify the truth. If you told someone named Joshua Keneely from Michigan that his family was originally Irish and that, at best, his family arrived bedraggled on the west coast of Scotland after the potato famine. If you then suggest that his forbears, in the face of xenophobia and hardship, probably jumped the first steamer straight to Ellis Island NY then top that with the revelation that the name was not directly connected to any of the CLAN tartans...NO SALE!

It may well be closer to the truth, but it is not what they want to hear. So you tell them that when the MacDonalds (arguably Irish in origin) ruled all the islands including Ireland they sent troops to assist William Wallace in his struggle against English oppression. Many of the Irish based names on Scotland's west coast and central belt come from that migration of foot soldiers. Being commanded by MacDonald and ultimately Wallace would certainly have earned them the right to either tartan with pride...SALE!

People assume an entitlement. That is a common mistake. If Stewart Hunting Tartan goes with your hair, wear it. You do not need to be named Stewart or Ramsay or Hutchison or whatever. Nowhere is it decreed that MacDuff should wear MacDuff. It just happens to be the cloth that was worn by the MacDuffs and later became romanticised by the Victorians in the wake of Queen Victoria's infatuation with Scotland and a certain gamekeeper named Brown.

It could be argued that I am simplifying history and I undoubtedly am, but it's not the detail I wish to expose but the attitude. It's great fun if one removes the snobbery attached.Also it should be noted that most tartans are an indication of geography rather than hierarchy. Galloway tartan is probably more to do with the place name than the surname. New towns are having their own tartans designed and manufactured and just about every football team in the Scottish Premier League has commissioned and produced their own tartans which are emblazoned on everything from scarves to baseball caps and diary covers. Anyone with the desire and the wherewithal can create their own tartan and have it registered. Tartan is a belonging, a statement of pride and fine romantic tradition.

Having said all that. My earliest indication of a McMonagle entitlement was that we should wear MacDonald Lord of the Isles if we wanted to connect to a specific clan though I feel the link is tenuous and far from certain. I personally feel more comfortable with the Galloway or Ayrshire versions as thrown up by the database at http://www.tartancat.co.uk. Another tartan which I know is already owned and worn by members of the Milton McMonagle Clan and is very popular is the Celtic football club tartan used for the title graphic above.